March 13, 2007

What Does Divorce Mean for Our Families

As a child of divorce I know how heart-breaking it is for family, friends and the kids. I remember when my biological parents divorced - mom and dad when I was about 9. My grandmother died and my dog was run over by a truck passing by. Can we say trama. The divorce seemed to be the one thing that I could fix, there was hope.

What I didn't know was that there was much more going on under the surface. They had fallen out of love. And mom had moved on. Soon after Mom met Sue. Mom and Dad had been together just about 10 years, Mom and Sue have been together 22.

Mom followed love not gender. The two need to be separated when we look at gay divorce. The big difference is that kids are protected in a legal marriage. What happens when our parents fall out of love and then the courts fall out of recognition of their relationship.

This story may be unfolding in various locales, but it is making headlines in the DC area. Two mom's now begin the fight for the child. Unleashing all the anger that can sometimes be found in a divorce, but under a national spotlight. Being watch by a country that is comapring their story to others and making assumptions about gay marriages.

All I have to say about the article is it starts out shocking quite open, but I feel for Isabella. It seems that like the Hatfield and the McCoys. Take a look here

December 08, 2005

global gay marriage

This week Brits will now be able to register for civil partnerships. And last week South Africa's highest court ruled in favor of gay marriage.

Check out the Dec 6th Talk of the Nation segment on "Examining Gay Marriage Abroad."

November 18, 2005

Marriage Misgivings

I've got marriage on the mind...

It feels like everyone does these days. Last weekend at Creating Change everyone was talking about marriage. This morning Noel shared his conflicted views on having a wedding with his wife. Lately, marriage seems to underscore every queer conversation.

As queerspawn, we engage with the marriage debate continuously for ourselves, our parents and our friends. While Noel and I personally identify differently (he=straight, me=dyke) it is not surprising that we share similar misgivings.

"I've always dreaded having a traditional wedding where one side of the aisle was filled with WASPS and/or Catholics and the other side is filled with all my faggot family — a sort of contemporary Montagues v. Capulets — and the imagined tension of having to explain, play pronoun rodeo, etc. "

Sadly, that feels like every wedding/major-family-function. Me, my gay brother and our ever-supportive Mom up against it all. If I ever do have a wedding, I'm plagued with the thought of the discomfort between my half-queer/half-Catholic family and my mythical partner's statistically probable straight family. I know it should be revolutionary, but most of the time that picture makes me nervous.

Of course there's way more to unpack in "marriage" and "weddings"... more to come.
Meanwhile, continue the discussion on Noel's site...